Short 'Boreds'
by Trunkschan2
Summary: Okay, this is a collection of just silly little stories and senarios involving the Schwarz boys and the Weiß boys that myself but mostly our Nagi-chan have put together. Short, plotless, fun. Launguage warning. R+R or Nagi will explode again. ^_^
1. Portopotties hurt god

Ok, this is actually a collective effort by myself, Katashi Usagi and our Nagi-chan and who ever else gives input into each extremly short story.  
  
This particular one is dedicated to my cousin Farfie's (or as we call her, Foofie) boyfriend. It wasn't really funny what happened, but anyone could see the humor in it, even him.  
  
By: Trunks-chan, Katashi Usagi, Nagi-chan, and Foofie  
  
  
  
Nagi: *Sits on couch playing with laptop*  
  
Brad: *Sits in chair reading 'Wall Street Journal'*  
  
Farf: *Sits in corner dismatteling the blender*  
  
All is quiet.  
  
Schu: *Walks in, very pissed, cursing in German* (Input German curse words here) *Walks into kitchen*  
  
Farf, Brad, & Nagi: *Look up and see Schu walk past. Go back to what they were doing*  
  
Schu: *Comes back from kitchen, still cursing in German, with a beer in hand*  
  
Nagi: *Looks over at Schu* What's wrong with you?  
  
Schu: I just got my car totaled! That is what's wrong! (Insert some curses here) My damn car is fucked!  
  
Brad: *Folds corner of paper to look at Schu* Well, how did it happen?  
  
Schu: I was pulling out of a driveway, and this massive truck came speeding up and T-boned my beautiful car.  
  
Brad & Nagi: *blink*  
  
Brad: What kind of a massive truck?  
  
Schu: *Blank stare* *Small smile* *Bows head and starts grinning*  
  
Brad & Nagi: ?  
  
Schu: It was a port-o-potty truck…  
  
Nagi: *blink*  
  
Brad & Nagi: *snicker* *giggle* *laughing asses off*  
  
Schu: *Laughing* It's not funny!  
  
Farf: *snicker* The shit really flew this time. *Takes puree button off of blender* Heh, port-o-potties hurt god. 


	2. It's time for a new clock

Umm, writing this just doesn't do the whole situation justice. You really had to be there.  
  
By: Mostly our Nagi-chan with some input by Trunks-chan  
  
Note from our Nagi-chan—if your alarm clock is older than 20 years, get a new one.  
  
Brad was having a dream or a precognition or something to that effect of himself walking into the hallway and getting beamed with an alarm clock. … He woke up and blinked.  
  
Nagi woke up and looked over at his alarm clock on the other side of the room. The minutes read: 20. He looked back to the ceiling. He then looked back over and looked at the hour: 6. Good, he had time. But he heard the music coming from the radio. Music shouldn't be coming from the radio unless the alram had gone off. He turned back and what he thought was a 6 was actually a 7.  
  
Oh, shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 7:20! (Which was 5 minutes before he had to walk out the door for school) My alarm didn't wake me up!  
  
He bolted out of bed and telekinetically ripped the alarm clock out of the wall (bending the prongs on the plug) and snatched the flying clock from the air in the middle of his room. He went and swung the door open and, as if the clock was a baseball, launched the clock down the hall in front of him.  
  
Crawford (a few seconds earlier) woke up and got out of bed. He went over to the door and opened just in time to see an alarm clock fly past his face down the hall and slam against the door at the other end.  
  
Schuldig heard the bang and woke with a jolt. "Fick!" He jumped out of bed and raced (all of 5 feet) over to the door and threw it open. "Was ist…" He saw the alarm clock on the ground in front of him. He picked it up and looked at it. (Prongs bent, cord wedged between top and bottom pieces of clock) He looked down the hall to see a very pissed Nagi standing in the door way huffing and puffing.  
  
"I am so late!!!!!!!!" Nagi slammed the door and got ready for school in 3 minutes flat.  
  
Crawford stuck his head out of his own door. He looked at Nagi's door and then at Schu still holding the poor dimented clock. He sighed and shook his head. "I saw this coming." 


	3. Schu's poor wittle coat

Gee-hee…Making Schuldig's coat can drive a person nuts (raises hand). This one came from my sewing and Katashi's staring at me sewing and me commenting on how fleece fluffs. (Grabs hair…too many buttons, too many button holes….!)  
  
By: Trunks-chan & Katashi Usagi  
  
  
  
Brad: *Sitting at kitchen table drinking coffee and reading news paper*  
  
Nagi: *Sitting at table eating corn flakes*  
  
Farf: *Over in corner pouring Lucky Charms® into blender* *Frappe*  
  
Schu: *Runs up from the basement, his coat in hand, and storms into the kitchen* Alright! Who did the laundry?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Brad, Nagi & Farf: *Turn around and look at the enraged Schuldig*  
  
Nagi: I did.  
  
Schu: You! You did this! *Holds hunter green pea-coat up which is now severely fluffy, pilly, and mangled*  
  
Nagi: Did what?  
  
Schu: My coat. You washed my coat! You can't wash my coat. It says right here-Dry Clean Only.  
  
Nagi: I can't read German.  
  
Schu: That's not the point! You should have asked what it says.  
  
Nagi: Then maybe you should do your own laundry.  
  
Schu: *Huffs* Geeerrrrr-aaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! You still did this to my coat! You made it go thzzzzzzzzzzt! Þ  
  
Nagi: ? Thzzzzzzzzt? Þ  
  
Brad: *Sets coffee down* Thzzzzzzzt, huh? Þ  
  
Farf: Thzzzzzzzzzzt hurts god. *Puree* Þ 


	4. Ok, let's singalong

Ever notice how Takatori looks like a koala? Umm, well, my friend has.  
  
By: Katashi Usagi  
  
  
  
Crawford stood in front of the desk of Mr. Takatori listening to him ramble on about the meetings he will be attending that week and which ones he'll need at least Crawford at.  
  
"Doesn't this man ever shut-up?" Crawford thought to himself.  
  
Takatori still rambled on, "…1:00 one on Thursday and another one at 4. That reminds me…I will be right back." He walked into a separate room in his office leaving Crawford to stand alone in the main office.  
  
He stood there looking out the windows behind the desk, the boredom starting to get to him. He began to whistle to himself then he started to sing to himself…  
  
(Now kids at home, sing along)  
  
-Koala man, koala man,-  
  
-Does whatever a koala can.-  
  
-Does he sit in the trees?-  
  
-He eats eucalyptus leaves-  
  
-Look out! Here comes koala man!-  
  
"Did you say something Crawford?" Takatori said as he walked back into the office.  
  
"No sir. Not a thing." 


	5. Down on the farm

Ok, the joke behind this story came from our Farfie. How she came up with it, I'll never know. The story itself came from Katashi after getting out of class early and just happy to be at my house and not in school.  
  
By: Katashi Usagi and of course Farfie  
  
The Schwarz boys got out of the car. They looked around at the surrounding area. A farm. Wide-open land as far as the eye can see.  
  
"What are we doing here?" Farfie asked the Oracle.  
  
"We are supposed to kill this farmer guy."  
  
Nagi shut the door. "One farmer? Why?"  
  
Crawford walked around the car to stand next to Schuldig, "There's supposidly oil on the land and Mr. Takatori wants to take it over and it'll be easier if the guy is dead."  
  
Schuldig crossed his arms. "Oh, so Koala man sends all of us out to the middle of Bumble-fuck, Japan to kill one stupid guy. I'm really starting to hate this job."  
  
Crawford started walking toward the farm. "Ok, let's go."  
  
The four of them walked toward the farm. The guy wasn't home at the moment so they had to hide and wait to strike.  
  
Nagi took a seat beside the farm house. "Oh, what am I sitting in…I don't want to know." Farfie hid in the barn. "Oooooo….pitch fork. *Lick*" Schu and Crawford hid over by the animal pens. "Look Bradly, hay…" Crawford, glared. "Don't touch me and don't call me Bradly."  
  
Time passed, lots of time. The farmer-guy-type-person hadn't showed up yet. Everyone was starting to get bored. Crawford sat watching everything. Schuldig got up to stretch his legs. He leaned over the fence and looked at the cows and the sheep that were penned up in there.  
  
He looked at the cows. "Moo……mooooooo………" he looked the other way, "Bbbaaaaaaaa."  
  
Crawford looked up at him, "What!?"  
  
Schu looked down and flipped his hand forward, "I'm being my…true self."  
  
Crawford blinked, "Moron." 


	6. You should always dress with the lights ...

Umm……This is a joke umongst my friends and I. I think it mostly stems from a picture we've seen of Nozomu Sasaki (nagi's VA) in something resembling Omi's clothes. Well, we thought it was funny…….. -.-;  
  
By: Nagi-chan  
  
Late one night, Schu was woken up by some noises from downstairs. He didn't want to leave Crawford's nice warm bed, but he had to see what was making the noise. He got up, and quietly went downstairs. And what to his wondering eyes should appear? But a Nagi, not wearing his usual getup. Instead of his usual uniform, he was wearing some black and white thing. Turns out, Nagi had paid a little late night visit to a certain Weiß boy.  
  
"Nagi! What the hell are you wearing?"  
  
Nagi looks down and shrieks. "Umm…"  
  
Schu snickers. "You got dressed in the dark again didn't ya?"  
  
Nagi turns beat red. *blush* "Umm…heheh…oops?" 


	7. The Brad, the Schu, and the Pocky

Don't ask!  
  
By: Nagi-chan  
  
One day, Schu and Crawford are getting some things at the market. Crawford, being the smart adult, goes for all the healthy stuff: bread, eggs, milk, fruit, veggies… And Schu, being the big kid that he is, goes for all the junk: chocolate, candy, soda…anything with sugar and caffein. Well, as he walks getting his things, he walks past each aisle and looks down it to see what's there. Well, as he walks past this one aisle, he looks, keeps walking. But then he stops, blinks, and backs up. He walks down the aisle in awe.  
  
"Wow…" he says. "I've never seen so much pocky in one place before." It turns out, the aisle had nothing but pocky in it. There was all kinds! Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla, Nut Cluster… Then something on the bottom shelf caught his eye. It was a BIG box of BIG pocky.  
  
Schu, being the perv he is, starts to get some kinky ideas about this pocky. He grabs the box, and runs to go find Crawford.  
  
"Bradley!!!" he yells.  
  
"What?" Crawford asks.  
  
Schu whips out the box of pocky and shows Crawford.  
  
Crawford blinks, *piku*piku* "Yeah…and?"  
  
"Bradley! Look at the size of these things! They could be fun." He looks admiringly at Brad.  
  
Crawford speatdrops. "Baka." He takes the box and puts it in the cart. "Fine. But it's your ass they're getting shoved up."  
  
Schu, with a look of joy on his face, takes the cart and goes gallavanting towards the register. 


	8. Always think before you speak

This one was totally by our Nagi-chan. Even my parents got the biggest kick out of her…uummm…oddly structured comment.  
  
********************************************  
  
By: Nagi-chan  
  
One day, the Schwarz boys were sitting around their apartment. Crawford was sitting in his chair reading his newspaper. Schu was prying into Crawford's mind trying to see what new things he wanted to try that night. Farfie was still playing with his blender and a very pissed little Nagi was sitting on the couch pouting…  
  
Schu looked over at Nagi. "What the hell is your problem?"  
  
Nagi pouted again. "My computer is broken."  
  
"Aww…poor baby," Schu said sarcastically. "How will you ever live?"  
  
Nagi gave Schu a death glare. "Well, I guess I could just go over Omi's and use his computer."  
  
Crawford shot his head up and glared at Nagi, "I don't think so! If you are that desparate to get on your computer, then go have it fixed."  
  
Nagi puted again, "Aww… come on! I've been wanting to get it on all day!" He stopped and thought about what he just said. He sweatdropped, "Umm, that's not quite what I ment…" He sweatdropped again.  
  
Crawford started and him and blinked.  
  
Schu looked pleased. "It seems I've taught you well… 'sniffle'."  
  
Farfie said, "Heheh…getting it on hurts god." He pushed the frappe button.  
  
Nagi looked at him, "Oh shut-up Farfarello or I'll…I'll…whip out a cross and blind you with it…or…something…"  
  
Farfie continued to play with his blender. 


	9. Farife and airport security

Farfie and airport security  
  
OK, I wrote this the night before I left for Florida. I wasn't exactly sure how the security stuff worked at the time so some of this is not really the actual security.  
  
It has to do with Farf's little ability to hide knives under his skin…(why can I have the ability to not feel pain…) hehe . It's really corney. So please be kind.  
  
Written by Nagi-chan  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Schwarz boys are at the airport because they are going on a little trip. Well, they go through security; Brad, and Schu and Nagi do fine. Then Farfie has his turn. He steps through the detector and it goes off.  
  
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*  
  
All of a sudden he's thrown to the ground and has FBI guys surrounding him.  
  
"Sir, if there is anything on you that could be setting off the alarm, could you please empty it from your pockets…"  
  
Farfie reaches into his pockets and pull out knife after knife.  
  
The airport guy and FBI people sweat drop  
  
Farfie steps through the detector again, and it goes off…again.  
  
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*  
  
He gets strip-searched *shiver* and they find nothing. They have him go through the detector again.  
  
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*  
  
Schu, Brad and Nagi are standing there watching and sweat dropping.  
  
Schu telepathetically tells Farfie, "I told you that you wouldn't get away with it…"  
  
Farfie sighs, and then takes his fingernail and makes a long slit in his arm. He pulls out a knife. Then he does the same thing with his leg and pull out a rather large one. Well, while he's performing surgery on himself, the airport guys are standing there disgusted and pale. After he's all done, he steps through the detector.  
  
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*  
  
"Oops...must have missed one…" 


	10. Why you shouldn't take Farfie to the mal...

OK, this has to do with a store that is at our mall. They sell knives and swords and sharp pointy stuff. So…well…yeah…  
  
Written by Nagi-chan  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The four Schwarz boys (yes four. Farf is with them in this one) went to the mall (yes, they actually took Farf to the mall).  
  
Crawford needed a new cream colored suit, Schu wanted to follow Crawford into the dressing to try something he saw on a computer game, Nagi wanted to get something for his computer. And Farfie…well…yeah.  
  
The boys are all doing their thing: Schu "helps" Crawford find the right suit, Nagi gets what he needs, and Farfie…well…yeah.  
  
So anyway, they are just walking around, browsing through everything when all of a sudden Farfie stops and starts drooling. Crawford, Schu and Nagi all stop and stare at the drooling psyco (yes, even psycos can drool). They look up to see what store they're standing in front of. Turns out, it's the sword shop. The three of them sweat drop. They look back at Farfie and they don't see him. All of a sudden they hear a screem.  
  
"Oh no…" says Crawford.  
  
They walk into the store to find Farfie licking the knives he got from the cabinet his broke into. The girl at the counter was astaring in shock.  
  
"…*sigh* Fresh metal…" sighed Farie.  
  
He looks over and something caught his eye (well, that's all he has at the moment). No more that .5 seconds later, he's plastered on the showcase window.  
  
*drool* goes Farfie.  
  
He found a really BIG knife. Not quite a sword, but bigger that his others. And it has this fancy-schmancy thing going on with the blade  
  
"Wow…that knife would definitely hurt God…"  
  
About 3 hours or so later, they finally got Farfie away from the showcase window. Crawford then pulls a bottle of window cleaner out of hammer space and cleans the drool and spit stains from the window (And remember kids…the opening to hammer space, is in the ass).  
  
Well, as Crawford was cleaning the window, Schu and Nagi were dragging a wimpering Farfie away from the store while he was straining to reach for the sharp pointy things. 


	11. Nagi's scary adventure

OK, this is dedicated to my cousin (Uncle Foofie) and her fuzzy purple underwear. It's one of those 'you had to be there' things…and for this, you really had to be there…heh…  
  
REVIEWS ARE NEEDED…arigatou!  
  
Written by Nagi-chan  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Early one morning (or late that night…whatever) the Schwarz boys were getting back from a mission against Weiß. They were all really dirty, but Farfie was the dirtiest; he was covered in blood.  
  
Farfie: "Well you would be too if you stabbed yourself for fun."  
  
Nagi-chan: "Shut-up Farf. Ok, like I was saying before…  
  
Farfie was covered in blood so he went to his cell to get changed (he may be a self-mutilating psycho, but he does have a sense of hygiene). He leaves the room.  
  
Schu then asks Nagi to return a knife to Farfie that he had borrowed for the mission.  
  
Nagi: "Why can't you do it?"  
  
Schuldig: *doing potty dance* "'Cuz I gotta go…" He shoves the knife over to Nagi and runs for the bathroom  
  
Nagi: "Baka."  
  
He goes down to Farfie's cell. He is about to knock on the door but he sees it open a little so he just walks in.  
  
Nagi: walks in saying: "Schu sent me down to retur…" *eyes bug out*  
  
He drops the knife and runs upstairs in utter shock of what he saw.  
  
Nagi: "Oh my DOG spelled backwards!!" (He's learned to say that because of Farfie) "I just saw Farf in his underwear! Someone get some soap for my eyes! AHH!!"  
  
The bathroom door opens and out comes a cloud of steam (Hmm…) Crawford pops his head out the door to see what was going on.  
  
Schu: "Bradley…! Come back in here…!" (Ohh…that would explain the steam…)  
  
Farfie, who is oblivious to everything, comes upstairs and sees Nagi freaking out.  
  
Farfie: "What the hell are you bitching about?"  
  
Nagi: "When I took your knife back to you, I saw…I saw…*takes deep breath* I saw you in fuzzy purple underwear!" *starts freaking out again*  
  
Farfie's eye (well duh…) opens in shock, and make a face about Nagi's comment  
  
Farfie: *mumbles as he walks away rubbing his ass* "They're panne velour…"  
  
Schu: (from bathroom) "Isn't that a type of pasta?"  
  
Crawford: (also from bathroom) "That's penne you moron"  
  
Schu: "Ohh…" (sounds of making out inserted here)  
  
Nagi: *freaking out* "I still saw your underwear!"  
  
Schu: (from bathroom with sounds of gasping for air) "At least he was wearing underwear!" *Quietly but not quiet enough for Nagi not to hear* "Unlike you and me Bradley" (Insert groaning here)  
  
Nagi: "AHH!!!!!!" 


	12. A Glass of Bombay

This ficcy idea cam e from an advertisement for a bottle of "Bombay Sapphire Gin" This is collaboration between the 3 of us on a long trek up to north jersey. Enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yohji sat in the basement room smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of gin. Ken and Omi walked down the steps and into the room.  
  
Ken noticed the glass in Yohji's hand. "Hey Yo-tan, whattcha drinking?"  
  
"Bombay."  
  
*Piku* "What did you just say?"  
  
Yohji looked at him quizzically. "It's the name of the gin, Bombay."  
  
Ken smiled at him. "A glass of Omi, huh?"  
  
Yohji's eyes widened and Ken started to snicker.  
  
Omi cocked his head to the side. "But I just got home."  
  
"Well, alrighty then…" Yohji set the glass on the table in front of the couch.  
  
Suddenly Aya came walking down the steps. Everybody turned to look at him.  
  
"Hey Aya," Ken grabbed the glass of gin that was now on the table and walked over to Aya. "Here, try this."  
  
Aya took the glass and looked at it. "And what is this I'm drinking?" He took a sip.  
  
"Omi."  
  
Aya spit the drink out and Ken and Yohji laughed. Omi crossed his arms. "I still don't get it. I just got home." 


	13. Nagi's Little Explosion

This should teach you guys to leave reviews.  
  
Idea by Katashi Usagi  
  
As told by Brak.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
One day Nagi was sitting at his computer. He was checking a ficcy he had written and saw that no one was leaving reviews. He got mad and blew up his house. When the guy Crawford found out, he grounded Nagi for life. When Schu found out, he said "I told you never trust a telekinetic. The End. 


	14. Nagi's Naughty Dessert

It's kinda one of those "ya had to be there" kinda things…heh…  
  
Idea by Katashi Usagi, Summarized by Trunks-chan, Written by Nagi-chan  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was any other 'normal' day in the Schwarz house. Crawford was working in his office, Farfie was mutilating himself, Nagi was putzing around on his computer, and Schu was attempting to pry into Crawford's head. Like I said 'normal.' But it doesn't stay that way for long.  
  
Crawford is sitting in his office finishing up some paper work for Takatori when all of a sudden he hears yelling from the kitchen.  
  
Schu comes running into the office and Crawford looks really annoyed.  
  
Brad: "Ok, so what's going on the you have to yell?  
  
Schu: "Nagi's peeling the chocolate off of a ding-dong and sucking out the cream filling!"  
  
As Schu is freaking out to Crawford, Nagi comes into the office.  
  
Nagi: "It's a ho-ho not a ding-dong.  
  
Schu: "There's a difference?"  
  
Nagi: "Duh…"  
  
Just then, Farfie pops his head in.  
  
Farfie: "I never thought I'd hear the words 'Nagi' 'sucking' and 'ding- dong' in the same sentence."  
  
Schu shuts up, Brad stops and looks at him, and Nagi blushes.  
  
Nagi: You guys are sick. I'm going out with Omi. Ja ne." And with that he leaves the room. 


	15. Crawford's Weird Dream

Ok, sorry I have not updated for a while. I've been busy with school (which is over! Woo! I gradgiated...hehehe.) and renovations on the site has kept me from updating.but anyway, hope to see y'all at Otakon! I can't wait!!!!!! (look around for a Gravitation group on Friday, and a giant Weiß group on Saturday *goes into hyper otaku giggle fit* heheh anyway..ENJOY THIS ONE!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Crawford's little dream - by Nagi-chan  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was a quiet morning in the Schwarz place. There was nothing but the usual sounds; Schu snoring, Crawford talking in his sleep, blood dripping from Farfie's knives.you know, the usual.  
  
Crawford was dreaming a nice dream. The four of them were battling Weiß and from the look on his face, Weiß was losing. He gets ready to take one last shot at Aya, when he hears Nagi yelling out to him.  
  
"Crawford!!"  
  
He looks over to where he thought Nagi was, but does not see him.  
  
"Where are you Nagi? I don't see you anywhere!"  
  
"Crawford! Come here!"  
  
"Nagi.where are yo."  
  
He was stopped suddenly by a hand to his mouth. He woke up from the sudden contact of the hand. He then saw who it was.  
  
"Schu! What the hell was that for?"  
  
"You were talking in your sleep again," Schu tells him.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Just as they start to drift back to sleep, Crawford hears Nagi again.  
  
"CRAWFORD!!!!!!!!"  
  
Crawford sighs, and gets up to see what he wants.  
  
He goes to Nagi's room, but Nagi is not in there.  
  
"Nagi, where are you?" he asks sounding very annoyed  
  
"I'm in here," he hears come from the bathroom.  
  
He goes in and sees Nagi on the pot, and stops.  
  
"Why did you call me in here?"  
  
"Because there's no more toilet paper."  
  
Crawford sweatdrops, gets a roll from the hall closet, chucks it at him, and goes back to bed. 


	16. Schu's Sexy Move

We leave for Otakon tomorrow!! WAI!! *goes into hyper otaku giggle fit* heheheheh......*attempts to calm down* ok anyway.I hope y'all like this one. My sister got the biggest kick out of it. So if ya don't like it, well Þ on you. ^_^ anyways..if you're going to Otakon, look for us!! Look for a Gravitation group on Friday and a Weiß group on Saturday evening..(you'll know it's my groups cuz we'll be the best ones...*snicker* heheheh..anyways.) On with the story!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Schu's Sexy Slip Written by Nagi-chan  
  
One evening, Crawford was sitting on his bed reading. He was in the middle of a really good part when all of a sudden he hears. "Bradley."  
  
"What?" answers Crawford.  
  
He looks up and sees Schu leaning against the door frame in a sexy pose, wearing nothing but silk boxers. Crawford smiles a bit.  
  
Schu comes skipping genkily across the room and makes a flying leap for the bed. *vwoooOOOOOOOOP*BOOM*  
  
"Oww.."  
  
*sweatdrop* goes Crawford.  
  
What Schu didn't realize was, there were silk sheets on the bed.  
  
"Help! I've fallin' and I can't get up!" 


	17. Nagi Comes Out

Ok, this was thought of because of our friend who cosplayed as Nagi to Otakon. He tried sleeping in our closet at the hotel.*sweatdrop* anyways.hope ya's like it. ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nagi Comes Out: By, Nagi-chan  
  
Farfie, being Farfie, decides to get up and chase Nagi around the house. Nagi runs and hides in the hall closet, trying to keep the psycho away.  
  
"Help!" screams Nagi.  
  
Crawford gets Farfie, puts him in the straight jacket and locks him in the basement. After doing so, he goes back to the closet and tries to get Nagi out.  
  
"No!" yells Nagi.  
  
"Nagi, come out of there!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Nagi, Farfie is put away; he's not going to hurt you."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Naoe Nagi! Come out of the closet!"  
  
*snicker*  
  
Crawford turns around and sees Schu standing there with a smile.  
  
"Hey Nagi, is there something you should be telling us?" asks Schuldig.  
  
"Yes," answers Nagi as he gets out of the closet. "Your coat smells."  
  
*sweatdrop* goes Schu and Crawford ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
heheh. 


	18. Farfie and his blender

Sleepovers can be fun....this is dedicated to our other Farfie who bought a blender. And to Keith, who played with it too. Margot, this is for you. Enjoy everyone!!  
  
Farfie and his Easy Bake Blender  
  
By Nagi-chan and Trunks-chan  
  
Dedicated to our friend Margot  
  
One afternoon, Schu came home with a box for Farfie..why? I don't know..Just humor me on this one. He went down to Farfie's cell and handed him the box.  
  
Farfie: "What's this?" *puzzled look as to why Schu bought him something*  
  
Schuldig: "This is so you be somewhat destructive and not hurt yourself because I'm tired of cleaning up after you. Happy Tuesday." And with that, he walked back upstairs.  
  
Farfie opened the box and gasped at the site that he saw..What? Psychos can be surprised..anyway..on with the story..Inside the box, was...*dun*dun*dun* an Easy Bake Blender. ($9 at Wal*Mart {not that they have Wal*Mart's in Japan})  
  
He picked up and held it in his hands. "oooOOOOOooooo....aaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhhh...." (wow) He then went upstairs to the kitchen to look for batteries so he could play with the toy. He set it on the table and searched through drawers.  
  
Nagi walked in to get a drink. He saw blender sitting on the table. (now, picture a sim when looking at something new)  
  
Nagi: "Farfie..what's this?"  
  
Farfie popped up from a cabinet from under the sink.  
  
Farfie: "EUREKA!! (don't worry folks, he's still dressed..phew...) I found batteries!"  
  
He looked over at Nagi looking at the strange toy.  
  
Farfie: "It's an Easy Bake Blender."  
  
Nagi: "I've never seen one of these intact before. What's it do?"  
  
Farfie in the meantime, was putting the batteries into his blender, and grabbing his Lucky Charms from the cabinet. He then went back to the table and started to play.  
  
Farfie: "Well...this little toy here can mix up all sorts of liquids, and make Chocolate pudding." *picks up pudding mix packet from blender box*  
  
Nagi: "So you're telling me, that this thing can mix all sorts of liquids AND make chocolate pudding?"  
  
Farfie: "YES! But that's not all..If you push the button hard enough it can make Chilean Fries." *throws potato in the blender with his pudding mix* "And it will not break" *pushes button*  
  
*blender make grinding noise*  
  
Farfie: "AAAHHH!!!!!! It broke!!!!!" *runs to room crying*  
  
Nagi: *shook his head* "Baka."  
  
He took the blender over to the sink and cleaned out the potato and pudding goo. He stood there staring at the blender. He got an idea. He took the blender cup, filled it with water, and put it back on the base. Then, he pushed the button.  
  
Nagi: "oooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo........!!!"  
  
He proped his head on the table and stared at the spinning water.  
  
Nagi: "aaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh......!!!"  
  
Nagi, still amazed, repeatedly stuck his finger down inside the whirlpool in the blender cup.  
  
Crawford walked by, and happened to glance into the kitchen. Then he stopped, and backed up to get a better look into the kitchen. There he saw his youngest co-worker sitting at the kitchen table sticking his finger down in the middle of a spinning whirlpool of clear liquid inside a little toy blender.  
  
Crawford: *sweatdrop* He shook his head and said as he walked away, "I need a vacation." 


	19. Wrong Number

Ok, Our Nagi-chan, is an interesting character. This basically follows what happened. I would like to dedicate this to Rich......whoever you are.  
  
By Trunks-chan  
  
*ring ring.......ring ring*  
  
"Hello, Yohji?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Oh good, I got a hold of you. I just got a call from one of my friends from school and he said that he got me an interview at this local music store since I've been looking to earn some extra money and stuff. Well, the thing is, the guy wants me to come in this evening for the interview and I know our little date was tonight, and as much as I was looking forward to that and such since last time was so good, but I really need the extra money and I've got to pay you back for the handcuffs that I lost the last time, not that they are all that expensive and such, so I'm just letting you know that we'll have to hold off on our date until later this evening unless you wanna skip the date and go right to the sex."  
  
"..............Who is this?"  
  
"Huh? Oh my god! This is Yohji right? This is Omi."  
  
"Omi? I don't know any Omi's. You sounded like one of my friends."  
  
"Oh my god, I dialed the wrong number. I am ssssssooooooooooooo sorry!"  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"I'm going to go now."  
  
"Okay. Good-bye."  
  
*click* 


	20. The Brad Song

Ok, this is a little song sung by SchuSchu. Is a parody off of Brak's Bean Song. Here's how the original went if you are not familiar with it...  
  
"Here's a lovely song about my favorite food!  
  
Lima, Lento, Soy, and pinto, Navy, northern, and garbanzo! Kidney's and freeholes, negros, I love, beans... *dun*dun*  
  
I Love beans...WOO WOO WOO!  
  
I love beans...how 'bout you?!  
  
High in fiber, low in fat,  
  
Hey I betcha didn't know that!  
  
When I eat beans,  
  
I sit in my own little cloud...  
  
Nobody comes to visit me...  
  
In my little cloud~~~  
  
I don't know why,  
  
Maybe it's cuz I'm...cutting muffins,  
  
because...  
  
I love beans...  
  
Hey hey hey!  
  
I love beans...EVERYDAY!  
  
Beans are an excellent source of protein  
  
I love beans~~~  
  
Diggy Doo!" Brak  
  
So yeah. I wrote this while running on...well...not a lot of sleep. So if it sucks..GOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! Dun hate me.... . but anyway..enjoy it as much as you can....  
  
The Brad Song  
  
Written by Nagi-chan Sung by Schu  
  
Here's a lovely song about my favorite American...  
  
Bradley, Brad, Crawford and Crawfie, Craw Craw, Crawfish, and my toy! Koi in bed  
  
before we get wed, I luv Brad....*dun*dun*  
  
I love Brad...WOO WOO WOO!  
  
I love Brad...don't you too?  
  
Good in the bed, and on the floor,  
  
Hey do ya wanna know more?  
  
When I do Brad, I wonder if he thinks I'm bad...  
  
Nobody would come to do me....  
  
If I'm bad~~~~~~  
  
I don't know why,  
  
Maybe it's cuz I....  
  
WAIT!! Why is this in the lyrics? Everyone knows I'm not bad in bed!  
  
Nagi-chan: Schu....BAKA! Just sing the damn song!!!  
  
*sigh*....Fine......  
  
I luv Brad  
  
*moan*moan*moan*  
  
I want Brad...ALL FOR MY OWN!!!!  
  
Brad is an excellent source of *groan*  
  
I love Brad~~~  
  
I really do.  
  
  
  
A/N: OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOK!!!!!!!!!! Be nice! I know it sucked!! I know...I just needed something to put up to update..*sigh* 


	21. A NotSoSober Mission

This one we've been tackling with for quite some time now and we've finally just got it down on paper. Forgive the length. Yes, yes, we know that this one isn't really short, but just bare with us. This isn't modeled after some life event of ours like the other ones, but we still thought it was funny. Anywho.....uuummmm...please review as well. Opinions and comments are welcomed and loved. ^_^  
  
By: Trunks-chan, Nagi-chan, and Katashi Usagi  
  
  
  
Tonight was a night to celebrate. Weiß had completed another successful mission, saved a whole lot of innocent people and averted total disaster upon Japan. So now, it was time to PARTY!!  
  
The lower room smelled of alcohol and Yohji's cigarette smoke. Bottles of Wild Turkey, Bombay and miscellaneous beer cans littered the tables. And over on the couches were a really drunk Yohji, and intoxicated Ken, a tipsy Aya (yes, Aya is tipsy) and a really hyper Omi (he's not old enough to drink so he just ingested way too many Frappuccinos). Yes, it was quite a party until.....  
  
"Weiß..." Came a female voice from the stairs.  
  
Everybody look over. "Oi! Mankusu!" came the voice of the drunken older blond. (in a slurred voice) "Come on in! Join the *hiccup* festivities. Grab a beer, take a seat (my lap in free)."  
  
Manx look at him. "Ahh..no."  
  
Omi, genki as all hell, ran up and hugged her. "Manx! Haven't seen ya in a while!" Then he yelled back to the others (still hugging her) "We haven't seen her in a while have we?!"  
  
Yohji and Ken raised their glasses and both said, "No, we haven't."  
  
Aya just kinda mumbled, "....nnn..."  
  
Manx pried Omi off of her, and continued to walk into the room.  
  
"I hope you boys can sober up soon. I have another mission for you."  
  
"Ooooooooooo....a mission.." Omi jumped about the room. (Boingy, boingy, boingy)  
  
She popped the tape in the VCR and a silhouette of Persia appeared on the screen.  
  
"Hello Weiß," the TV said.  
  
"Hi Persia!!" yelled Omi, waving frantically at the screen.  
  
"Omi, stop it" slurred Aya *hiccup*  
  
A giant sweatdrop appeared on the TV.  
  
Ken popped up, "Hey......that's pretty cool."  
  
Persia continued, "Takatori Reiji has gotten word of a local farmer who discovered oil on his land. The land is now worth a fortune. We suspect that Takatori will try to obtain this property by any means possible i.e. killing the farmer, and we believe he will send Schwarz to do it. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to stop Schwarz from killing the farmer, and stop Takatori. Defenders of the light, hunt the beasts of darkness. And this tape will self-destruct in 5 seconds."  
  
Ken dived behind the couch, Yohji stood up and yelled out, "My VCR!" and then fell drunkenly back onto the couch, Omi ran around screaming and Aya just sat there *hiccup*.  
  
"Just kidding," said the TV and it turned off.  
  
Omi stopped running around and threw a brown plushie of sorts at the TV, "Baka."  
  
"Good luck," Manx said as she turned and began to walk back up the steps. As she made her was up the staircase, she placed her hand on her forehead, "Maybe they'll just make the enemy laugh to death," and with that she left.  
  
Omi got up and paced around the room as Ken got out from behind the couch.  
  
"Okay guys, let's go get ready," said Omi. Yohji & Ken staggered off to their rooms, Aya swayed a bit as he walked, and Omi skipped genkily off to his closet.  
  
Half an hour later, the 4 men converged upon their parking area.  
  
"Okay..." Ken said. "So who's *hiccup* drivin'?"  
  
The all looked at each other and then at Omi.  
  
Omi look at them. "Me?!?!"  
  
"Yer the onry wun who ken drive," Yohji slurred out.  
  
*******  
  
All 4 Weiß boys are piled onto Omi's moped.  
  
Ken whined, "Are we there yet?"  
  
Yohji slurred out, "I gotta pee...."  
  
Aya said, "I think I'm gonna be sick."  
  
Yohji grabbed Omi's bandana. "If you're gonna spew, spew into this.."  
  
After a very long and uncomfortable ride, they finally got to the farm. Omi parked the bike and they went looking for Schwarz. Then suddenly Omi shouted...  
  
"Hark! There goes the enemy!"  
  
The 4 men then attempted to run over to the enemy (key word: attempt).  
  
Crawford rallied his men, and walked over towards Weiß.  
  
They finally met in the center of the nearby wheat field. Aya stumbled forward ready to confront the enemy....then he spoke....  
  
"Halt you fiends, you bringers of destruction and all that is evil. We, the bringers of the light, are here to stop your evil doings. Evil like you shouldn't exist in this world. So we are here to stop you. Your plot to gain control here will not succeed. It's people like you that keep older brothers of sick comatose sisters awake at night. It's evil like you that keep sons of bankers after really big Koala men so they can kill them. On behalf of the populous of Japan, we will punish you."  
  
Schwarz produced a communal sweatdrop.  
  
Aya stood there staring at the enemy. He happened to glance at his team and see Yohji staring at him. He glanced back at Schwarz, then back at Yohji. He finally turned his entire head and looked at Yohji.  
  
"What!?" yelled Aya.  
  
Yohji blinked. "Your hair. I've never really looked at it before. Is it that red down there too?"  
  
Aya stared at him intensely. Then he blinked.  
  
"I dunno...let's find out." And with that he dropped his sword, opened his coat, and undid his pants. The two men stood there staring down Aya's pants. Omi then ran over.  
  
"Hey guys, what are you doing!?"  
  
Yohji replied, "We're checking out the color of Aya's hair."  
  
Omi looked down. "Wow..would ya look at that..it really is that red....Hey Ken!! Come look at this!"  
  
"Already seen it."  
  
Yohji and Omi looked up at each other at Ken's comment and noticed Crawford and Schuldig looking down his pants as well.  
  
"See Schu, you're not the only natural red head around here." 


	22. Crawford's Birthday

Nagi-chan - "It's Crawford's birthday!!!!! *sings* Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthda......"  
  
Crawford - "Shut up."  
  
Nagi-chan - . *pout*  
  
  
  
Idea by: Katashi Usagi Written by: Nagi-chan and Trunks-chan ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Schu comes skipping genkily into Crawford's office.  
  
"Oh Bradley....guess what today is..."  
  
"I don't want to know."  
  
"Too bad. It's your birthday!!" and with that, he kisses his lover.  
  
*sigh* "I hope you're not planning anything. I don't want a party that you're going to have fun at, and I have to clean up."  
  
"Oh no, it's nothing like that. I'm taking you out."  
  
"Where...?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"I'm scared."  
  
"Don't be...I'll be with you." *wiggles eyebrows*  
  
"That's what I'm scared of."  
  
After finally getting Crawford out of the house, Schu takes him to his favorite Karaoke bar.  
  
"Why a karaoke bar?" asked Crawford.  
  
"Because it's a lot of fun, and you need fun in your life..(not that I'm not enough fun) but you still need fun."  
  
*sigh* "Fine.....but I am NOT singing anything."  
  
"We'll see about that..." mumbles Schu.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Oh...nothing." *smirk*  
  
Now inside the bar.....  
  
Schu leads Crawford to the bar, and orders them drinks. When they finally get them, Schu raises his glass.  
  
"To my loyal, sweet, kind, (and really good in bed) man....happy birthday." And with that, he drinks his beer.  
  
"Ummm...yeah," and Crawford drinks whatever it was that Schu ordered for him.  
  
"MMmmmmmm...this is really good. I'll have another," he says after finishing off his glass.  
  
About 6 or 7 glasses of liquor later, Crawford is, well, not Crawford. To Schu's surprise, Crawford looked like he was having fun. Fun just wasn't something in Crawford's schedule.  
  
Just then, a song came on.  
  
"Heeeeeey....I rilly like dis' song...." slurs Crawford. Then, for some unknown reason, he gets up, grabs the karaoke microphone, jumps up on the bar counter, and starts singing and dancing.  
  
"Hold me baby odorouyo Sunday........."  
  
Schu stares at him.. "Ummmm......Bradley....."  
  
Crawford turns towards Schu and sings to him.....  
  
"Touch me baby kibun wa Holiday...." He sings while reaching out towards Schu.  
  
Schu just stares at him in amazement.  
  
(Now this part, he sings right to Schu. He even gets down off the counter, sits in Schu's lap, and sings)  
  
"*Hold me baby UKIUKI lady SUTORESU wa tamenaide Touch me baby KIRAKIRA body RIFURESSHU shiyou Hold me baby odorouyo Sunday kokoro ni mo eiyou Touch me baby kibun wa Holiday hoshizora no MERODII"  
  
Soon the song was done, and Crawford sits down as everyone is clapping for him.  
  
"Wow....dat wuz fuuuunn....man...iz it hot in heeerrrrrrrr or iz it just me...?"  
  
Schu stares at him wide eyed as Crawford begins to remove his coat and tie. "Okay, Crawford, I'm going to the bathroom.uummm, you just sit there and behave."  
  
"Okay! Yuu go do dat Schu-Schu."  
  
"What'd you just call me?"  
  
The severely drunk American grins at him."  
  
Schuldig heads off to the bathroom. In there, he stares at himself in the mirror. "What the hell have I done to the man!?! Shit, I have to piss like a race horse."  
  
Schuldig soon exits the bathroom and steps into the main room to find his leader, with his tie now around his head, back up on the stage, singing and dancing his heart out.  
  
Schuldig stares at him, "And he was worried about me having too much fun." 


	23. Nagi Explodes Again

A/N: This was written because of the "No NC-17" rule....grr...*snarl* so....yeah. Verlor-kun, hope ya don't mind me using your detention thingy in here....^_^  
  
Nagi Explodes again  
  
Written By: Nagi-chan  
  
As told by Brak  
  
One day, the boy Nagi was in his computer class bored out of his mind. He went to read some fanfiction. He saw that no more NC-17 fics could be posted. Nagi got so mad he expoded (again). He got a detention. When the guy Crawford found out he said "I told you never read fanfiction in class." -The End. 


	24. A True PWP

A/N: Ok, now this is a real PWP....  
  
Ken: Let's screw.  
  
Aya: Okay.  
  
The two of them go at it like rabbits.  
  
Aya: Wow...that was good.  
  
Ken: Of course it was...I'm the one you were doing it to. ^__^  
  
Aya: Want to go at it again?  
  
Ken: Sure!  
  
And again, they go at it like rabbits.  
  
The End  
  
See the purple-two-lettered button? Push the purple-two-lettered button!! 


	25. Sundae, Sundae, Sundae

A/N: There we were, sitting at Wegman's, eating our sushi, and dumplings *pats Katashi* and this just came out, into the conversation. I think we were all tired. But anyway..enjoy!  
  
By: Katashi Usagi, Trunks-chan, and Nagi-chan  
  
The Oracle's life was completely structured and organized. But every now and again, even the mighty and emotionless leader of Schwarz would make time in his structured and organized schedule to enjoy one of life's very few and sinful pleasures..  
  
An ice cream sundae.  
  
Crawford set the grocery bag down on the kitchen table and unloaded its contents: death-by-chocolate ice cream, caramel sauce, bananas, chocolate jimmies, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries. He looked around to make sure no one was around and then he grinned. And then he went to work making his masterpiece.  
  
Low and behold, Schwarz's resident psycho was lurking about, bored out his.......mind, I guess. Farfie really wanted something fun to do. He noticed someone was in the kitchen, so he wandered in there to see who it was.  
  
Farfarello walked in, and there, on the table, in front of his odd looking leader, was a can.....a squirt can, of whipped cream. It was too tempting.  
  
At that moment, Crawford turned around to get a knife from the drawer to cut the banana, which he had in his hand, mind you. He turned back in time to see Farfarello grab the can of whipped cream and proceed to spray it..every where. And I do mean everywhere.  
  
Not too soon afterwards, Schuldig moseyed into the kitchen to find Farfie on the floor playing with the now empty can of whipped cream and Crawford standing the middle of the kitchen covered in it holding a banana.  
  
"Crawford," said Schu after surveying the scene, "You should have let me know you were into that sort of thing."  
  
Farfie pulled out one of his knives and started assaulting the can.  
  
*Poke! Poke! Poke! BAM!*  
  
"Oww, my eye."  
  
"Hey Farf," said Schu, "The contents are still under pressure." 


End file.
